LANGUAGE AND GENDER

Language is unique in being a symbolic communication system that is learned instead of biologically inherited. Generally speaking genders refers to the culturally determined ways in which we perform or act our maleness and femaleness. We all know the famous book ‘man is from Mars nor woman is from Venus’. I think this book is the depiction of the distinction between men and women.

Men and women grow up in different cultures even if they’re both from Turkey. It looks a bit confusing but when we deal with the eastern part and western part of the Turkey, this sentence comes more meaningful to us. I want to discuss this by giving some examples from my life. I have a cleaning lady who is from the eastern part and she speaks less because she thinks that it’s sin so her speaking ability is very low. She was pregnant one year ago and when she learned the gender of her baby, she was crying. She had four children and the all is girl and she was pregnant again to a girl. She had a great ambition about giving birth to a boy so we can say that gender distinction starts even if in pregnancy.

I have two cousins; Hande and Can. In their childhood, they grow up concerning the gender distinction. We all see the gender superiority in Turkey by watching films, soup operas. When I play with Can, there is always an action in our games. He becomes Polat Alemdar and I become the thief and he arrest me and put into jail. On the other hand, when I play with Hande, it’s more different. She has a Barbie and Barbie’s boyfriend. We dress them, we marry the. It’s like more on speaking and calmer than the other one. But I can see that culture and media affect Hande too because she always says the importance of marriage.

I think misunderstandings occur because men and women grow up in different cultures. Women’s culture involves intimacy and connection. Whereas, men’s culture involves individual achievements. This affects the communication between men and women. The think that they are supported communicate and determine their topics of conversations, their conventional styles, their interpretation of one’s another meaning.

When I’m going out with my boyfriend, I always use ‘oh dear’, but he’s more formal. I want to talk about relationship, gossiping and clothing. But, he prefers to talk about task-oriented tasks such as sports, news, money. He always makes jokes and I laugh. I am more emotional than him. I can cry easily but he doesn’t cry because there is an ideology that men don’t cry. Who says this I don’t know but the media, the culture and the language we speak affect the way of our living. Language is no one’s private property so why my cleaning lady fears to speak? The answer is clear. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. We create gender identity through language. In most occupied titles, we say female doctor. It comes different. I had witnessed something that is horrible to tell. In hospital, there’s a woman who had to go to an operation but the doctor is woman and her family didn’t accept it, they wanted a male doctor. We see the male superiority in there, too. Women and men live in the same country but they’re from different cultures.

MERVE KARAKAYA

20050104026

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

We use non-verbal communication everytimein our life. It has a very important

place. We always use it, but usually we are not aware about that. Body language

and facial expressions are useful to communicate, and explain ourselves or

emotions. Because some people cannot tell everything about what he or she

wants to tell. I have a friend called Burcu, and she is a deaf person. She cannot

talk and hear. She always has to communicate with using body language and

facial expressions. Face’s muscles’ move differently according to our feelings

and emotions. Burcu usually use facial expressions because many people cannot

understand anything about body language, and I cannot understand everything

from it, too. We communicate with facial expressions and gestures. She has a

way to tell her different needs. In a short time, I learned her communication

type. When she sad, her face goes down, or when she happy, her face goes up.

But facial expressions can have different meanings in different societies. It does

not have general meaning. For example, when Burcu scowling, we understand

that she is angry. But scowling can maybe have a different meaning in England

or Egypt. In conclusion, I have an experience about this. I can communicate

with Burcu easily. From this experience I think that facial expressions are very

important to communicate, and we use it a lot. Because, communication is being

easier with this way.

Çağla TÜRK

20080301093

INTRAPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND MY FRIENDSHIP

Generally in our daily life we mostly think, hear and consider about interpersonal,group and mass communication but the starting point of our communication is us, its starting inside us.When we dont know about our feelings,expectations,emotions we can not transmit it to onether one.We have a chance to know us much better when we do intrapersonal communication with ourselves and if we do, know ourselves,ourplans, expectations, feelings,ideas, empty places in our soul then we can express ourselves to another one more effectively and in a efficient way.As an example a few weeks ago,I had a some serious problems about communication with my friend in this university,we had started to fight almost everyday.We were a good friends and also we were same mind.After a while one day,at home I started to talk to myself about this friendship,I criticise myself,I tried to findout what really I want from this relationship and what I am expecting from that friend.Moreover I tried to find out where I did wrong,what were the empty places that my friend cant put enough things that I needed.I was alone at home and I talked to myself as a real person with me.I was relaxed,I talked everything honestly to myself,I learned myself, I discovered some missing points that I couldnt realized before.After all these,just one wek later when I went to school,I have spoeken with my friend about our friendship and as I learned later he had done samething,intrapersonal communication when he was alone.Now we have a beter riendship with himself and we can transfer our expectations,feelings,our sensitive points,our fears,ideas,our untouched places in our souls to each other because we know ourselves much beter in this meaning.

Doğu İMİR
20090301104

MY LIFE EXPERIENCES IN GERMANY

The year 1975, Semiha Yankı represented Turkey in the Eurovision Song Competition. She did sing a western type song but was forced by the government to wear a traditional dress. Europe argues about the relativity of Turks and Europeans but refers mostly the differences. The dress of Semiha Yankı was a connotation where non-verbal communication has beaten the verbal. Turkey was labeled as undeveloped.

These were times, where Turks have immigrated to Germany. Just as my family. Turk have a different culture then Germans and are labeled mostly in a ethnocentric German way. Turks tried mostly to conserve their cultural artifacts but forgot to follow cultural change in their own country, which has created an alienization to both cultures.

We can see this also in the Turkish-German print media like newspaper. Their mediais not about being Turkish or German. It is just about be an alien.

I begun my primary school at Germany. We had a class where all of us were Turks. It was a programm where we have learned two years in Turkish Language. For a point of view in a social constructivist way, the goal should be the adaptation of children to the German language and culture. To do so they used the first spoken language as a channel to integrate us in. But, as I have experienced it, they had created just a domestic group in a public organization. Turks have localized themselves and spoke Turkish to each other.

My parents were working, so they send me to an afterschool care called “hort”. A hort is like a pre-school. You have to make your homeworks, eat lunch, play games with other children under the supervision of caretakers. The caretakers concerned about to teach us the German way to live. We were an international group from every continent and also with Germans. They instructed us to play games which have developed our interpersonal communication. We talked much about our own country an and life at home to understand each other. This was for me a perfect experience to understand other cultures and share a common sense of life.

Far later, where I have planed to study Psychology in Germany i have realized that I have to be connected to a power network to earn a good job. Therefore I tried to learn more about the Turkish Association in Berlin. They have a great authority over Turks who can't speak German and introduce those people their local yellow pages which was also an instrument to help our communicate, work or support Turks each other. My goal was to be a Turkish speaking psychologist, which were in the yellow pages of the association in 2003 only three.

My advantage would be my life in Turkey which could help me to reach more poeple and understand their local culture and mores. Anyway, life has changed my plans but, I also saw that in this Gemeinschaft you have to be strong islamic to be one of them. The Association emposes also power by being conservative. Because, if people change, there wouldn't be a strong need of cultural belongings.

There are several problems that distort the communication between Turks and Germans and I didn't saw any organization which inoovates a bound. There could be a positive interdependence but as i saw, they just look at everything in their own perspective.

Alper Çetiner

20070302033

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WOMEN & MEN IN COMMUNICATION

Firstly, I want to tell about women & men behavioral differences. For a long time, I see different meaning to men and women communication. Generally women use mimic, posture,gesture and voice tone in daily life.But men use a more less mimic,posture,gesture and voice tone.

The importance of communication , interpersonal communication use of couple. Also the nature of women being are more emotional ,more complex and irrelevant maintance behavioral. But men have more static, more lineer thinking than the women.

In my experience, when I see some couple particularly women want to heard romantic words.But the most important thing for a woman feel the true love and trusting her boyfriend or husband.If a man understand in this sense ,he always uses this!But in that time women says:

“If you love me you must be…….or you should….your sentences not enough for me” Because when women say something to her husband they don’t explain sentences meaning of all, they don’t react accurately and so forth women expect be understandable by men.Then men cannot be an understanding person for a woman.

This problem almost have several couples in my observation.The other part of thing is lifestyle in couple.Women want shopping for instance and like talking about other women besides men talk about sports & money.

Their interests also different then they talk about some argument.Because of collective idea is found difficulty from each other.They discuss more and more time when I saw them in my daily life.

The good communication has a few of couple when I observed.Because of man acted rationally , women reacted emotionally. The main differences are these I think!

Zülal Karapanca

20090302071

GROUP COMMUNICATION AND MY EXPERIENCES

We learn many things within the groups we live in. We improve ourselves with the groups. Firstly, our family is the first pattern for us, our mother or father is our role model. They teach us what do, they think for us or in some situation tell us what to do. Then, we join other groups; like friends, workmates, clubs, university ... Groups tell us what to think, feel and how to act because we are part of them. We develop our personality, with the contribution from the group. There are many advantages of group communication, but some disadvantages are worth mentioning.

In Maslow’s Need Hierarchy, there is a “Belonging Need”. We want to belong to some groups. Groups can meet members’ interpersonal needs. Group members are more interested in our personal problems and they will try to help us. Whenever we have a problem, they support us and they try to find a solution. For instance, I have three best friends. Whenever I have a problem, they help me. When I am ill, they care about me. Whenever I feel bad, I call them and they listen to me and solve my problems. As an individual, you are alone and need love. For example, I am from Istanbul, my family, my friends, my groups live in Istanbul. Whenever I go to Istanbul and meet them, I feel comfortable and happy because I know that they love me.

In contrast, it is sometimes difficult to communicate with some groups. You are included in a group, it is a good thing but if the group members are tightly linked to each other, they do not want anyone else. It is as if they built a wall around them against others and they do not allow someone outside the group to communicate with them. For example, I graduated from Bahcesehir University then I came to Izmir university of economics. When I came into the classroom, no one said “hello” to me. Nobody spoke to me. When I sat anywhere, they said to me that it is their place and they always sat there with their friends, I had to sit at another place. They did not care about me. They did not wan’t anyone outside their group. When I asked a question to someone, he/she didn’t answer me, because I am a foreigner to them. I felt alone at that time.

However, sometimes it is good to work individually when you have experience of the issue and you have limited time. If there is disagreement between group members, time coulbe wasted because if team members do not have any idea of the issue in question, you first have to teach them or orient them to the subject then you can work together. For example, I have experience in Marketing Communication and Public Relations as part of my professional life. Whenever I had to do a project, my group wanted to get project done on the last date thought they did not have knowledge of the project coverage. On the last week before delivery of the project, they would come to me to start doing the project, I explained and shared my knowledge but they objected what I was saying. I lost too much of my time and much effort to teach them. When I worked alone, I completed my work successfully and effectively.

On the other hand, it is sometimes a good thing working with others, because you can create synergy within the group. In the past, working as marketing Communication Specialist at a private company, I had to do a campaign and I couldn’t decide how to plan and send them. My team supported me, we did brain storming and got many good ideas. We found a good slogan for the new product. We planned the campaign and we posted them in a very short time.

In conclusion, sometimes working as with a group has some advantages if time is limited and a good solution is a risk. Tasks are best done by groups when the decision is complex and needs an innovative or creative solution. On the other hand, if you are experienced, or you have an enough time, or the desicion is simple and little risk is involved, working an individual is a good way. In some days, if you don’t need anyone to do anything, working alone is saving of your time and you will not get much more. However, a group could give you love and support your personal needs. We feel better within groups.

Mehtap Malumbo

20090301106

SELF ACTUALIZATION

Since the beginning of the humanity, people have been trying to meet their needs. There have been many studies which classify the needs in order to understand the issue and to explain how people meet them. One of the most important studies has been made by Maslow. Therefore, I would like to mention about “self-actualization” on the basis of his study called “Hierarchy of needs”.

Now it is time to give a concrete example to make it clear; I didn’t have any certain plan for my future when I was 14 years old, namely during the times of high school. Neither during the preparation class nor the first year I couldn’t have any career plan for the following years, but in the beginning of the second year all the students had to decide in which field they will keep on studying. In fact, this year was my turning point because I have started to know more about myself and my aim has started to become clear.

Moreover, it has taken long time to realize myself as an individual. Actually individuals need for disciplined and intensive study process on the way of achievement of self-actualization. On the other hand, they should have realistic perceptions of themselves, others and the world around them. Besides these individuals are concerned with solving problems outside of themselves, including helping others and finding solutions to the problems in the external world. Even if they come across with undesirable situations, they should try to realize their mistakes on the emergence of such situations and should take responsibility in order to overcome them instead of giving up.

In order to achieve self-actualization, I have experienced all the steps mentioned above and realized myself. While deciding on the field in which I will keep studying, I thought about in which field I’m more interested, and in which field I might be happier. In other words I had to decide which field could satisfy my expectations, and I could be extremely successful. After all, I have chosen it. Following this choice, I kept trying to achieve self-actualization. At the end, I did it by choosing the department that I desired. Finally, I have started my studies in the field of my future dream job, which is “Public Relations and Advertising”, and I was extremely happy. I suppose that if I chose the department of psychology which was suggested by the other people around me, I would not achieve self actualization and would not be living my own life.

In addition, some people set targets which cannot be achieved by them, and at the end they are frustrated with the result. Such people face with this failure, because they do not try to realize themselves, namely they don’t achieve self-actualization. For instance, self-actualized people are always aware of the things happening around them, they tend to understand the environment and always try new things. Furthermore, they usually try to see the life through the eyes of others, and they are also creative. They are also keen on understanding and enjoying what the life brings them. Self-actualized people tend to view the world with a continual sense of appreciation, wonder and awe. In addition to these, they work hard in case of a need and they are aware of their responsibilities. I also took into account all the above mentioned criteria, studied hard by being aware of my responsibilities to achieve self-actualization, and I finally realized myself.

Finally, we can assume that individuals, who are on the way of self-actualization and self-knowledge, will initially discover themselves. It should be noted that this is vital, because if a person does not know about himself/herself, how come could (s)he manage to know about the accuracy of the things surrounding him/her? Do not forget the fact that the person, who is really in pursuit of the fact, is the one looking forward to realizing himself/herself.

Sedef Seyit

20080301082